Dear Lord; Happy Christmas Eve Father!
When I think of Christmas Lord, so many things come to my heart…
Hope…
Love…
Peace…
Joy…
And an overall sense of Wonder.
And yet, with all of the situations that have surrounded me throughout this Blessed Season Father, I’ll admit that much of that child-like excitement has felt quietly subdued this year…
However this morning as we talked Lord, You breathed some life back into my weary spirit.
Today Father, I asked You a very pointed question and You very clearly answered it… Although I’ll admit Your response wasn’t even on my radar…
“Lord… You know my heart hasn’t been in the right place this Season, and for that I’m truly sorry. I need You more than ever Father… Please tell me what You want of me this Christmas… What do You want me to learn?”
And in the prayerful silence that followed Lord, You Blessed me with an answer…
“Forgiveness, Phil…” You whispered… “For yourself most of all.”
Silence returned as I grappled with Your intent…
Forgiveness?? At Christmas??
And then Father, in a moment of realization reminiscent of the Grinch’s heart enlargement it came to me…
Christmas is all about forgiveness.
In the midst of our pain, our sin, and our brokenness Lord,
On that Silent Night so many years ago,
You came among us in the humblest of ways…
That by Your life we could know Your will for us,
And by Your blood we would be…
Forgiven.
“Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.” – Luke 23:34 (NIV)
The redemption of our world…
All began in a lowly manger.
And today Lord, as I sought the light which beckoned the Magi You parted the clouds around my heart and let me see…
That I’d allowed my circumstances to define me, and permitted my self-imposed feelings of guilt and disappointment to divert me from that Holy Pilgrimage. And that for me to begin that journey forward Father, You needed me to let go of it…
To forgive myself, as You forgave us all.
So as Christmas day approaches Lord, I yearn to meet You with a lighter heart; to rest by the manger’s side and know that sense of newness and hope. To leave those burdens which keep me from You along that tired path, and renew my spirit with the peace You ushered in that Holy Night.
Come Lord Jesus…
~Phather Phil
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Hi, I’m Phil Malmstrom, a.k.a. Phather Phil. I’m self-employed, father of two wonderful young men, an ordained minister who delights in spreading Jesus’ Message of Hope and Love, a science-fiction junkie, an aspiring photographer and above all that one of God’s Children who rejoices in His Blessings each day. 
Forgiving ourselves is the most difficult aspect of forgiveness. Praying you found peace this Christmas day, Phil.
Such a poignant, honest reflection . . . Truly, the coming of Jesus into the world is all about forgiveness of others and ourselves, the latter often being the hardest to do. I’m glad you had this chat with the Lord and shared it here, my friend.
Blessings in this wondrous season and throughout the New Year!