Dear Lord; Good afternoon Father.
I’ve decided that 11 is a complicated age Lord… Let me tell You a little about my morning.
Today started out like most weekday mornings do; with everyone scrambling to compose themselves and prepare for the work and school day ahead. Still shaking off the effects of a restless night, I stepped out of the shower and immediately picked up on yelling coming from the opposite side of the house. Quickly wrapping a towel around myself I headed for the source of the turmoil.
Jonathan and Aidan were firmly entrenched in a verbal battle with each other. Apparently, Aidan had taken a seat at the table that Jonathan had set up for himself, pushing his things aside in the process. This in turn lit Jonathan’s fuse, and the battle royale had begun.
Both were intractable, and it had progressed from a basic disagreement to an angered exchange complete with name calling (luckily, nothing too terrible) and yelling. (Looking back to it now, Dr. Seuss’ story “The Zax” comes to mind.)
Still sporting my towel, I quickly intervened on the situation trying to get a handle on who did what and to calm things down. Unfortunately, Jonathan was riled up way past the point of reason and redirected his attitude towards my authority. Needless to say, it went downhill from there. Shannon and I take disrespect very seriously, and Jonathan had gone WAY too far to allow it to go unchecked.
“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.” – Exodus 20:12
We then entered the correction phase of the conversation; No computer games for the next couple of days… At which time, Jonathan went off the deep end.
I’ve never seen anger like this from him Father, and it really caught Shannon and I off guard. He threw what can only be described as a massive “hissy fit”, told us he was leaving home forever, and without a coat, hat or gloves stormed out the front door onto the snow covered lawn.
I watched quietly out the window for a couple minutes, then went outside and got in the truck to go fetch him. He’d made it down to the end of the street, and when I pulled up on him he stood shivering in the snow and firmly refused to get in the car. More concerned for his health than the attitude at this point, I promptly picked him up, put him in the truck and closed the door. Unfortunately, that still wasn’t the end of it and the ride to school was filled with further venomous outbursts and disrespect. As it hadn’t completely abated when we turned into the school parking lot, I decided to err on the side of caution and keep him with me for the day.
As we pulled out of the school after dropping Aidan off, I quietly focused on Your Guidance Father. I was at a loss… He’d never shown me this kind of behavior before.
“Hold him close to you.” I heard drift through my head.
With that directive in my heart and an image of You holding him in Your Arms in my mind, I spent the rest of the trip to my office working to release some of the tension that the morning had brought. We arrived at my workplace, where I set him down on the couch in my office to contemplate the events of the morning.
“Jonathan” I said, “You tell me you talk to God quite a bit… Now would be a good time to listen to Him.”
He gave me a half-quizzical look, but sat quietly on the couch for quite a long time all the same. When he finally turned and spoke to me, his voice was much softer and more reserved. We discussed what had happened, and he remorsefully explained how he’d allowed his anger to run away with him and about the difficulty he’d had “getting the genie back in the bottle” once he’d lost control. There are days Father, that I think he’s far too deep for a child of 11… Today was one of those days.
When I spoke with him later on, I asked him if he’d heard from You while he laid on my couch.
“Yes… And he didn’t sound happy.” Jonathan replied. “We talked about how I was going to make it better, and not let it happen again.”
Thank You for the assist with him Father, and for focusing me as well. Sometimes we all need some parenting help from the “Head of the Household”. 🙂
Amen.
~Phather Phil
Hi, I’m Phil Malmstrom, a.k.a. Phather Phil. I’m self-employed, father of two wonderful young men, an ordained minister who delights in spreading Jesus’ Message of Hope and Love, a science-fiction junkie, an aspiring photographer and above all that one of God’s Children who rejoices in His Blessings each day. 
Sounds like we had similar mornings, except mine was with my husband instead of child. I’m so glad we can turn to our Father to help us focus. He gently prompts us to focus on Him instead of our emotions.
What a great lesson for everyone to learn today.
So sorry to hear you had a rough morning as well Lisa, but you’re right… It’s wonderful we always have Him to turn to for aid.
Hope today is a better one for you!
Have a Blessed Day!
I still feel bad
It was a long day, wasn’t it big guy… The important thing here is to learn from the experience, and know that
you are loved in more ways than you can possibly imagine. Jesus forgives when we seek Him, and your mom and I do too.
Have a Blessed Day sweetheart!
What an awesome lesson at the age of 11 and what a great dad you are! He’s learning how to deal with things that most of us are tackling as adults… which is harder because we’ve been sinning in our anger much longer.
To Jonathan… His grace is sufficient for you dear friend! There is no condemnation with Jesus, only forgiveness!
Thank you Heidi, but I didn’t feel like such a great dad at the time. It worries me sometimes that he is dealing with things that may be far in excess of his chronological age, but with God’s Grace we always seem to come through it stronger.
Thank you, and have a Blessed Day!
Phil~
I sit here smiling, because this episode is all too familiar 🙂
I had come home from work one day and Warren said well you just missed WW3. I said “What happened?” He went on to explain that Whitney (17) and Alex (13) had gotten in to a verbal turned physical fight. So I went into Whitney’s room to discuss what had happened. She was telling me “her” side of things and she was shaking with anger. I went into Alex’s room and received the same conversation.
I brought both of them into the living room and had the follwoing conversation. “OK. Sit in the floor facing each other, legs crossed knees touching. (you could have slid a piece of paper between them becuase they REFUSED to touch each other 🙂 until…) OK. Now hold hands. I received the look like I was crazy. In my I’m so not kidding voice I said “NOW”. They were holding hands and absolutely seething. I went on “Now, not one word.Look into each others eyes and imagine waking up tomorrow without the other one in your life. How important would this arguement be? How important is it who was right or wrong? You physically, emotionally and with malice hurt each other. How much do you love each other?” I immediately saw their faces soften. i walked into the kitchen and Warren goes. WOW ingenius… It was about 2 minutes and I hear… OMG I love you so much…I am so sorry, and then giggles 🙂
Now this wasn’t the last of their run ins they had a couple of battles. But within minutes it seemed they were always right back to loving each other. Sometimes I think we love each other so much that we are quicker to anger than if someone we didn’t know at all did the same to us.I think what you did was an amazing set of actions that Jonathan will carry forward for the rest of his life. God is always speaking to us, sometimes we just need to stop and listen.
Proud of you Jonathan 🙂 So mature to not only admit your mistakes but in that same thought how to correct it going forward!
🙂
Thank you “Penny”, for that story. You’d told it to me once before, but I hadn’t remembered the details until now. I think I’m going to try that with them the next time we have an altercation… Should be interesting. 🙂
Have a Blessed Day!
It really touched me how Jonathan, after cooling down a bit, listened to God. I love when God speaks to our children! And not only did he hear God say it was wrong, but how to not let it happen again. Thank you for sharing this, it really blessed me!
Thank you Jenifer. It did my heart good to see it as well. It took me many years to achieve the relationship with God, that seems to come quite naturally for Jonathan. 🙂
Have a Blessed Day!
Parenting is a real buzzard some days. I’ve had my fair share of temper tantrums… from both sides of the fence (my children and myself). You gave your son a good gift by giving him a “day” with you. I haven’t always been so sensitive with my own kids. They’ve been through a lot; my older two are in college now, one to graduate soon and move onto grad school. There was a season in his younger years when I was certain his anger would be his undoing. I “sat” on him pretty hard during that time; my mother offered Godly counsel along these lines.
Today, I am amazed at who he is… a young man at 22. He’s more than I imagined he would be back then. So much more. And I think to myself, all those shaping/hard years were worth what I’m seeing now…
a man after God’s heart!
It will be so with your son; it’s just a season. Keep pressing into one another and into God. Keep planting seeds of truth. The rest will follow in due season.
Thanks for sharing this story.
peace~elaine
“Parenting is a real buzzard some days” really says it all Elaine! LOL Shannon and I try to be very consistent with the discipline of the kids, but this one was so outside the norm that I was very thankful to have His Help getting things under control.
Thank you, and have a Blessed Day!
What a touching account. You clearly are a very loving father. As you say, growing up …. age 11… I guess your son is moving through to adulthood and is seeking his own authority in life. Like the baby steps of learning to walk, he is making those “falling over” mistakes. Those need to be done in order to find the answer.
God will take care of this situation I am certain. With caring guidance and correction and most importantly “agape” love your son has every chance of growing into a mature and balanced adult.
God bless you all
Marty
Welcome Marty, and thank you! As you said, he’s growing up quickly and finding his voice to make his own mistakes. Thankfully, he’s also very bright, very empathetic and very in-tune with God’s Presence in his life so at least for the moment these “adventures” are short-lived.
Thank you so much for the encouraging comment, and the visit!
Have a Blessed Day!