A Wondrous Gift

Dear Lord; Happy Friday Father!  Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!  What a powerful release Lord!  I truly feel like the floodgates on my heart have opened, and it’s an amazing sensation.  I can’t thank You enough for this, and I lift my Praises to You for this wonderful gift.

As there are others that read these conversations Father, let me explain.

The last couple of months have been filled with significant trials for me, my business and my family and although I’ve tried to maintain a positive outlook and listen for Your Voice, I’ve been very much eaten up with fear, worry and self-doubt.  These deep-seated demons have affected me severely enough that my health has suffered, and I’ve not been able to focus as closely as I should on ministering to those who count on me.  I didn’t lose Faith Lord, but I certainly felt beaten… until this morning.

I had just dropped off my boys to school, and was headed towards my office thinking about what new nightmares the day had in store for me, when You intervened.  In the middle of a thought, out of nowhere, I started crying uncontrollably.  The only way I can explain it is that my heart felt like a plug had just been pulled and all the pain, fears and worries burst from my chest.  It was a truly staggering feeling, and I’m still tearing up thinking about it.  You are indeed a Wondrous God!

I Accept Your Love, and Your Help, and Your Gift!

I lay my Burdens at Your Feet Lord!

Heavenly Father, I can’t thank You enough for this release and for staying close to me through my trials.  I know I am Blessed, and Loved and I feel Your Peace.  May all those in similar turmoil receive Your Presence as I was Graced to this morning.  Amen.

~Phather Phil

Focus on Acceptance…

Dear Lord; Happy Monday Father!  First off, I want to thank You for another lovely weekend with my family and friends.  Date night with my wonderful wife Shannon on Saturday night was a great way to end the week, and although I ended up “under the weather” on Sunday, I was Blessed in that my family made sure I had the quiet time I needed to rest and recuperate.  I certainly wasn’t as productive as I had originally planned on being, but the downtime did help us all to recharge our batteries for the week ahead.

Today Lord, I want to delve further into my Focus Word (Accept) for the year and how it’s already affected my thoughts and actions.  It’s amazing to me, but since You placed that word in my heart I find it jumping into my head quite regularly.  For example, I had a situation this weekend where I was extremely uncomfortable with the way someone was acting in a public situation.  They weren’t doing anything wrong per-se, but it made me feel awkward all the same.

“You need to Accept them for who they are” I heard in the back of my head.

Fair enough.  As I said, they weren’t doing anything wrong and they certainly weren’t hurting me in any way.  I realized I had just taken it upon myself to feel uncomfortable at the way they were behaving, and was letting it affect my disposition.

Therefore, today’s statement of focus from my experience this weekend is :

I need to Accept that God has made each of us an individual who is unique and special.

Now please understand Father, this doesn’t mean I won’t stand up against people doing something morally or ethically wrong, or not confront evil wherever I see it.  I simply need to have more flexibility when dealing with differences in how Your Children act and interact with others.  You’ve made us all wonderfully individual and unique, and I’m going to work on celebrating those differences more.  Amen.

~Phather Phil

Morning Realizations

Dear Lord; Good morning Father!  Well, once again You’ve set the conversation topic for our morning chat.  Here I was all ready to talk about plans for the new year, and then You intervened and kept redirecting me to discuss the morning rush at our house.

Well Father, as You know weekday mornings at our home tend to be a little on the chaotic side.  I’m the light sleeper in the house, so when the alarm goes off it’s me that gets up to start things rolling for the day (Shannon could sleep through a small nuclear device being detonated nearby… LOL).  The first 15 minutes of the day becomes a flurry of activity between running dogs out, to waking up children and finally prompting Shannon until she stirs as well.  Some days are better than others, but no matter what my “Wake Up Call” is never a welcomed experience by the rest of the household.  The balance of the next hour is spent getting everyone clean, clothed, fed and ready to get out the door in time.  All in all Lord, it’s a mad rush by four half-awake people that quite often leads to frustrations flaring up.

As they did this morning.

It’s funny, but I wasn’t sure what You meant when You whispered to me that we needed to talk about my mornings and almost dismissed it, but when I heard You clearly a second time it started me analyzing the morning ritual in general, and how it affects me.  Then I recognized Your intention… I’ve become resentful of being the one who has to be the “bad guy” each morning and hadn’t realized it.  Wow… What a powerful and worrisome realization that was.

Well Lord, once again You’ve made me pull out a demon I wasn’t aware of into the sunlight.

It hurts my heart to think I’ve become resentful of helping my family with anything they need, even though it’s not a happy task.  It’s a necessary role, and one that I’m best suited for.  I need to leave these feelings at Your Feet Lord, and do ALL I can for my family with love and care.

Heavenly Father, I thank You for helping me see this poison in my heart for what it is.  I pray that You help me release it from my spirit, and wake each morning with a joyous heart in the knowledge that I’m performing a loving act for those I hold dear.  Amen.

~Phather Phil

Back to the Fold

Dear Lord; Well Father, the New Year is certainly upon us.  However, instead of talking about new beginnings today, I want to go over last weekend if I may.  As we’ve discussed at length, 2010 was in many ways an amazingly difficult year for myself and my family.  Well, as of Friday morning I had yet one more potentially serious business nightmare crop up to finish off my year, and I’m afraid I crumbled.  It was the proverbial last straw on the camel’s back, and I spent the bulk of my day sitting quietly in our bedroom, avoiding the world.  I tried for quite some time to speak with You Lord, but I just couldn’t seem to let go of the troubles in my heart and open up that line of communication.  I felt lost, and beaten, and angry, and alone.

I was of course none of those things, but at the time I couldn’t see past my own turmoil to realize it.  Once again, You intervened through others to bring me back.  Shannon and I were to attend a New Years Eve party that night, and although I was holding onto my pain she convinced me to keep our plans all the same.  It ended up being just what was needed to get me out of the self-induced shell I was hiding in.  The evening was spent surrounded by a fun group of friends, and I was able to finally release the hold that fear had placed on my heart.

The rest of the weekend continued on an upwards trend, and by Sunday afternoon I was back to my old self once again.  I was able to start the week today with a positive direction, and a joyous heart knowing that as always, You were there to see me through, even when I wasn’t paying attention.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9

Thank You Father, for always being there to guide and help us even when our own frailties make us blind to Your Presence.  Amen.

~Phather Phil

Looking Back…

Dear Lord; Well Father, it’s almost the end of another year.  It’s certainly been a roller coaster, and I’ve spent quite a bit of time the last few days reflecting on everything that’s transpired.

Financially, 2010 has been a nightmare for myself and my business.  Coming off a very positive 2009, the first half of this year saw one drain after another as the crippled economy took it’s toll on our clients.  We adjusted as best we could, and gained some ground back mid-year, but even today we’re still dealing with digging our way out of the hole that was created.  And like any other business owner, that shortfall has carried through to my personal finances, putting a significant strain on our household income.  The one positive financial change that happened this year was the additional income produced by the wonderful new job Shannon got in September.  It hasn’t completely balanced out the deficit, but it’s been an amazing Blessing to our household during these rough times.

Family health was all over the board this year as well.  On the positive side, Jonathan’s disease has stayed in remission and he’s done very well this year.  Thank You for that amazing Blessing!  Shannon had a couple of injuries during the year, including seriously straining her back in the spring and later in the year bruising her tailbone.  I managed to get Lyme Disease in the late spring, which caused me some significant issues, but other than some continuing joint discomfort that too seems to be staying at bay.  Other than that, we’ve all had bouts of the typical Delaware sinus crud but have remained for the most part, healthy.

This year was not without it’s heartache as well Father.  Following a painful battle with cancer, my best friend of 26 years left us to join You in August.  He was a wonderful man, the best man at my wedding, and Jonathan’s Godfather and we all miss him very much.  I take great solace however in the fact that he’s no longer in pain, and is now dwelling in Your Kingdom.

On the positive side though Father, we’ve had a number of wonderful things happen this year as well.  As I mentioned earlier, Shannon got a new job this year that has been an amazing fit for her as well as providing us with some additional income.  It’s wonderful to see her come home feeling appreciated, and fulfilled with what she’s doing, and I’m very proud of her.  We had another fantastic family vacation this summer in the Pocono Mountains.  We’ve come to really love Chestnut Grove, and the kids are already looking forward to going back there again this coming year.  Over the summer Shannon and I also celebrated our 15^th Wedding Anniversary with a surprise (to her anyways) Renewal of Vows Ceremony led by the Pastor that married us.  It was a wonderful affair with family and friends in attendance, and a time of great joy for us both.  And finally, a few weeks back Lord I was truly Blessed to be able to act as Your Emissary to bring two good friends together in the bonds of Holy Matrimony.  That was an amazing honor, and Your Presence was obvious to all that attended.

On the Blessings side Lord, I have actually quite a few to Praise You for.  My marriage to Shannon has never been stronger.  She’s an amazing lady Father, and my love for her continues to grow deeper with each passing year.  My children are growing, and learning, and happy, and healthy and dreaming Father.  They’re my light and my inspiration, and I thank You so much for making them a part of my life.  We’re surrounded by wonderful friends, and we feel their love and caring on a regular basis.  And possibly most importantly Father, this year has been an amazing time for my personal growth in You.  I feel Your Presence in my life more and more every day, and give Thanks and Praise for Your Grace in my journey to You.  And although this has been a tumultuous time for many of us, I’m quite secure in my Faith that in You, all things are possible.  Amen.

~Phather Phil