Running on Fumes

Dear Lord; Happy Wednesday Father!

You know Father, I still find it amazing the ways You find to impress things upon my heart.  In today’s case for instance, my morning lesson came from the gas gauge on my dashboard.

I was on my way in to work, when the quiet of my morning ride was unceremoniously interrupted by a loud “ding!”.  Looking down at the dash, I realized that my trusty vehicle was trying to draw my attention to the fact that I was quite low on fuel.

“I’ll be ok” I thought… “I can keep going for a while yet.”

For some reason though, You seemed to feel that this was a good learning opportunity for me.

“You’ve felt that way before.” I heard You whisper.

Ouch!  I knew exactly what You’d meant by that too…

When I was in my early 20s, I knew everything.  I prided myself at always being one step ahead, always staying in control of every situation, and in never needing anyone’s help.  My life was a non-stop roller coaster of work, caring for a rapidly declining mother and grandfather, and one self-destructive relationship after another.  During that period I averaged three to four hours sleep a night, and many of those were obtained through alcohol induced collapse.  Yep, I had it all worked out… I could burn the candle at both ends and deal with whatever came my way.

I was running on fumes.

And like my truck Father, you can only function that way for so long before you just… stop.

In my case, the “dead on the side of the road” moment came with the onset and diagnosis of my son Jonathan’s disease shortly after he was born.  In one decisive stroke, I became painfully aware that I wasn’t as in control as I had disillusioned myself into believing.  I was lost, and terrified, and felt completely disconnected from what I had always held onto as being finite and real.

And yet Lord, in that humbling and pain, You began my rebirth.

Sometimes Father, as I’ve learned, we need to be stranded on the side of our spiritual road before we can begin the real journey.  Thankfully, You pick up hitchhikers.  🙂  Now I keep my “Faith Tank” full, and try to follow Your GPS to where You need me to be.  I don’t always get there directly, but I’m learning new roads each day.

Thank You for Your “Road Side Assistance” program Father.

Amen.

~Phather Phil

P.S. Today marks one year from the very first “Email to God” that I ever posted.  It was simply a tongue-in-cheek message sent to my Facebook Wall that read : “Dear Lord, we thank you for another day and all the blessings you have bestowed upon us. Just a note however, I think you left the water running last night… Amen.  ~Phather Phil” (It was a particularly rainy day.  🙂 )

In His Hand…

Dear Lord; Good evening Father!

Well Father, we certainly did talk a lot today.  From a rough start between Shannon and the kids this morning, to a fearful trip taking our dog Hunny to the Veterinarian this afternoon, I’ve had a lot of prayers in my heart and on my lips.  Thank You for staying by my side Lord… Your Presence was very apparent.

As You know Father, in our house we consider our pets part of the family.  Along with the two-legged members of the household, we have four little dogs, a kitten we took in last year, a couple aquatic turtles and a tank full of fish.  Needless to say Lord, life is abundant in our home at all times.

The two older dogs; Brandy who’s 17 and Hunny who just turned 16 have been exhibiting increasing symptoms of age as of late, so their care requirements have obviously increased.  Along with age however, last year we found out that Hunny has some additional medical issues as well.  It all began when she started having bouts of intermittent “hacking” coughs which would go on for several minutes.  We took her to the veterinarian, and after a number of tests and x-rays it was determined that she suffered from an enlarged heart which was beginning to affect her breathing.  We discussed options with the doctor, and although there was no cure for her condition there were some diet and exercise changes that we could make that would help extend her life and make her more comfortable as well.  She responded well to the changes, and while the cough still showed up from time to time, she appeared to be doing better…

Until last week.

The cough came back, with a vengeance.  This time though, it wasn’t restricted to intermittent bouts of coughing, but hours of deep, throaty hacking.  We tried to keep her calm and comfortable, but the symptoms continued to worsen.  As of last night, the cough was continuous and nothing I could do seemed to help her.  She finally collapsed into sleep after hours of obvious discomfort.

Needless to say Father, rest didn’t come easy for me last night.  I know You heard me, both in my prayers and the pleas I kept silent as well.

I arranged an appointment for Hunny to be seen this afternoon, fully aware of the potential of what could be needed.  The possibilities weighed on my heart Lord, but I felt You with me on that long ride; reminding me that You were with me, that Hunny was Your Creation, and that whatever the outcome that You cared for her.

“In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.” – Job 12:10

I’m thankful Father, that Your Voice is always there to comfort and guide me, and that the doctor’s examination showed some room for optimism that she’ll be with us for a bit longer.  We were sent home with some medication to help her breathe, to fight off a bronchial infection, and to get some rest.  While I know that her condition won’t go away, it’s a Blessing that we don’t have to lose her just yet.  🙂

Heavenly Father, thank You for remaining ever-faithful and staying by my side each day.  In the shadow of having to make a difficult decision, It emboldened me to know that I had Your Divine Guidance to lead me.  I pray that Your Presence is felt by all those facing such uncertainty.  Amen.

~Phather Phil

Surrounded by Your Abundance

Dear Lord; Happy Monday Father!

You know Father, it’s funny; some days I have to think, and pray, and ponder at length about what to focus on with our conversation, and then there are days like today where I have so many directions I’d like to go that I don’t know where to start!

Therefore Father, to stay somewhat with tradition I decided to start out the week by giving thanks to You for the weekend.

Shannon had back-to-back music performances this weekend, so for the most part Saturday and Sunday it was just the boys and I.  The dogs had me up early Saturday morning, so after running them out I settled in on the couch with my coffee and was able to enjoy much of the Book of Deuteronomy without interruption.  Fresh, dark coffee and the Word… What a wonderful way to wake up!  🙂

After the rest of the family was up, we all got dressed and were able to have lunch with Shannon before she had to head out to play viola at a wedding that afternoon.  Other than a few little household chores, the boys and I spent the rest of Saturday baking fresh cinnamon-sugar swirl bread, relaxing, watching Doctor Who episodes and simply appreciating our time together.  All in all, it was a nice, quiet day with my kids and I enjoyed it a great deal.

Sunday came, and Shannon was once again out the door first thing in the morning to another performance.  This is the last Symphony Concert she’ll have for quite a while as they break during the summer, so other than the work she does with the quartet she belongs to her weekend schedule should slow down a bit now.  Anyways, although the weather report looked quite threatening and the ominous sky appeared to support the forecast, we decided to risk getting rained on and headed out to Woodland Beach for a walk on the shore.

There’s always a wide variety of items to search through on Woodland Beach, but as we’d had a nasty thunderstorm come through the night before the sands were freshly filled with new treasures from the Delaware Bay.  Bits of colorful sea glass, shells and rocks of all size, shape and color covered our path.  Jonathan even brought a metal detector he’d received as a gift from his Grandfather a couple Christmases ago, and he and Aidan had a wonderful time chasing the “blips” and “bleeps” it made.  While we won’t be able to retire on the “riches” they unearthed (a corroded cell-phone battery, and a couple rusted chunks of metal from the old pier), they had an absolutely fantastic time which in my book is priceless nonetheless.

While Aidan started out looking for bits of sea glass, Jonathan quickly got his attention when his metal detector started indicating it found something beneath the sand.

The boys had a great time digging in the sand chasing down the source of the signals the detector picked up.

After we’d combed the nearby stretch of beach quite thoroughly, the boys and I hopped back in the truck and headed off to take a look at a new stretch of shoreline we’d heard about from a friend of mine.  We arrived at Port Mahon about a half-hour later; a virtually forgotten area that was obviously much more heavily used in years gone by.  The road was barely there, and I was quite thankful for my SUV’s four-wheel-drive keeping us from being stuck in the sand and gravel.  Rusting buffers and weathered, mussel-covered wooden piles lined the shore, now serving as lookouts for the wonderful variety of birds that swarmed the area.  It was a photographer’s paradise, and although I could have spent hours there capturing the essence of this waylaid port, our stomachs reminded us that we were overdue for sustenance, and we were forced to head home.  Thankfully however, this new discovery of nature is only around 25 minutes from our home, so we’re already planning a return trip soon.

One of the best parts of our visit to Port Mahon was the abundant wildlife, most obviously the shore birds that were all around.  I took a number of shots of this little fellow, but this was my favorite.

These two looking out over the water brought the movie “Finding Nemo” to mind for some reason… Mine?  Mine?  😉

Once back at the house, the boys cleaned up while I cooked up a “Breakfast for Dinner” feast for us.  While we enjoyed that repast, we watched the live streaming message put on by Cross Point Church at crosspoint.tv.  It was an excellent service, and a perfect way to close out the day’s activities.

Heavenly Father, thank You for yet another wonderful weekend with my family and friends.  I feel truly Blessed to not only have this “bonding” time with my children, but to live nearby to so many wondrous examples of Your Abundance in nature.  I love seeing the light in my boys’ eyes as they explore and examine the world You’ve given us, and being able to share my appreciation of Your Gifts with them.  I pray that they grow knowing that wonder, and remember these times with Your Love in their hearts.  Amen.

~Phather Phil

Thankful Thursday: Multitudes on Mondays

Dear Lord; Happy Thankful Thursday Father!

This evening Lord, I’ve decided to try something a little bit different for our Thankful Thursday conversation.  Instead of focusing on one specific thing You’ve Blessed me with, I’m going to take a page from the idea behind “Multitudes on Mondays” as described in the book “One Thousand Gifts” written by Ann Voskamp, and make a list of some things I’ve been thankful for this week.  I haven’t actually read the book, but a number of my fellow blogger friends have taken up this Monday tradition, and reading their posts it just seemed to fit very nicely with the concept of Thankful Thursday.

And there’s so much to list Father, so let me get started…

1. Smiles and hugs from my boys when I come home from work.

2. Dark, fresh, hot coffee in the morning.

3. Photowalks with the kids.

4. Living within 25 minutes of both a state forest and a quiet beach.

5. Feeling the spring breeze wafting over me as I watch the sun set beyond the trees.

6. Sitting at the firepit on our back deck and enjoying time with friends.

7. Holding my wife Shannon as she falls asleep.

8. Dark beer.

9. Cooking for my family and friends.

10. Reading the inspiring and encouraging posts from my fellow Christian Bloggers.

11. Curling up with the kids and watching TV together.

12. Having a job that continues to bring me new challenges and growth.

13. Pulsatile Nasal Irrigation (the only true defense I’ve found against allergies)

14. My son Jonathan continuing to be in remission.

15. Contact lenses.

Heavenly Father, thank You for these and all the other Blessings You bestow on us each day.  You are indeed a wondrous Lord, and I lift my heart to You in joyous praise.

Amen.

~Phather Phil

Musings on the Weekend

Dear Lord; Good evening Father!

I know it’s not usual for me to write on Sundays Lord, but so much has happened over the last few days that I wanted to share with You while the events were still fresh in my mind.  It’s been an awesome weekend, and I’m very thankful for all You’ve Blessed me with.

It all began Friday night with the launching of our “Dinner and Drinks on the Deck” evening get-togethers.  This is something we started last year, and ended up having around 15 of them over the course of the spring and summer.  They’re informal cookouts attended by family and friends on Friday evenings where everyone brings something to share, and we provide the grilled food and snacks.  The adults get to relax, sit around the fire pit and wind down from the work week while the kids all get to burn off some steam together.  It’s a wonderful way to kick off the weekend, and this past Friday went extremely well.  In fact, we’ve already had quite a few inquiries about next weekend.  🙂

Saturday morning, Shannon went and taught violin lessons in town and with the help of a good friend I did some heavy-duty scrubbing of our master bathroom.  It had been far too long since I’d had the opportunity to clean and disinfect it thoroughly, and it was satisfying to see it all sparkling clean and smelling fresh.  My words to You from Thankful Thursday came immediately back to mind!

Saturday evening I dropped the kids off at one of their friends’ house for a sleepover visit, while Shannon and I got to enjoy a “date night” out.  We met up with some good friends for a fun dinner, then headed out to a local party for some dancing and socializing.  While we love our children dearly, the opportunity to get out as a couple now and again helps us to “recharge our batteries” and focus on the intimate bond we’re Blessed to have between us.  Saturday night was a great time, and we enjoyed ourselves thoroughly.

Early Sunday, Shannon headed off to play viola at a wedding with the other ladies in her quartet while I got an unheard-of morning to sleep in a bit, and have some “quiet time” relaxing and communing with You.  The boys went to church with the family they had stayed with, and had a wonderful time at Sunday School and participating in the worship service.  I picked them up shortly afterwards, and we headed out to have lunch and spend the day hiking and shooting photos nearby.  It was a bit overcast today, but the temperature was perfect and we managed to get time to walk both out at Blackbird State Forest and then about a half-hour away on the sands of Woodland Beach.  I love spending these moments with them, and each new excursion we take together brings us closer to each other, and to You.

Here are some of the photos I shot today that made me smile Father:

The boys paused for this shot while we were walking down one of the many nature trails in Blackbird Forest.

Always the adventurer, Aidan forges ahead of us, setting the pace.

Jonathan’s photography skills have improved markedly over the last year.  I’ve really enjoyed teaching him about lighting and composition, and he’s really having fun seeing what he can do with the camera.

This little fellow was being harassed by a group of other ducks and was just frazzled beyond words.  I loved the expression and attitude he was exuding and was Blessed to catch this shot.

All in all Father, it was the best weekend we’ve had in a long time and I thank You from the bottom of my heart.  You Bless my family and I in so many ways Lord, and I am very deeply grateful for Your Presence and Guidance in our lives.

Heavenly Father, once again I thank You for a wonderful, relaxing weekend with family and friends.  Please guide my decisions and actions in the coming week to best serve Your Will, and to share Your Light with those around me.  Amen.

~Phather Phil