Dear Lord; Happy Wednesday Father!<\/p>\n
You know Father, I still find it amazing the ways You find to impress things upon my heart.\u00a0 In today\u2019s case for instance, my morning lesson came from the gas gauge on my dashboard.<\/p>\n
I was on my way in to work, when the quiet of my morning ride was unceremoniously interrupted by a loud \u201cding!\u201d<\/em>.\u00a0 Looking down at the dash, I realized that my trusty vehicle was trying to draw my attention to the fact that I was quite low on fuel.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll be ok\u201d<\/em> I thought\u2026 \u201cI can keep going for a while yet.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n For some reason though, You seemed to feel that this was a good learning opportunity for me.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019ve felt that way before.\u201d I heard You whisper.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Ouch!\u00a0 I knew exactly what You\u2019d meant by that too\u2026<\/p>\n When I was in my early 20s, I knew everything.\u00a0 I prided myself at always being one step ahead, always staying in control of every situation, and in never needing anyone\u2019s help.\u00a0 My life was a non-stop roller coaster of work, caring for a rapidly declining mother and grandfather, and one self-destructive relationship after another.\u00a0 During that period I averaged three to four hours sleep a night, and many of those were obtained through alcohol induced collapse.\u00a0 Yep, I had it all worked out\u2026 I could burn the candle at both ends and deal with whatever came my way.<\/p>\n I was running on fumes.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n And like my truck Father, you can only function that way for so long before you just\u2026 stop.<\/p>\n In my case, the \u201cdead on the side of the road\u201d<\/em> moment came with the onset and diagnosis of my son Jonathan\u2019s disease<\/a> shortly after he was born.\u00a0 In one decisive stroke, I became painfully aware that I wasn\u2019t as in control as I had disillusioned myself into believing.\u00a0 I was lost, and terrified, and felt completely disconnected from what I had always held onto as being finite and real.<\/p>\n And yet Lord, in that humbling and pain, You began my rebirth.<\/p>\n